My Way Home

If she can somehow hear me....

I love you.

Sooner or Later...You Don't Need No One Else

When the lights don't glow the same way that they use to
And I finally get a moment to myself
I will realize you were everything I'm missing
And you tell me you're in love with someone else

So can you do me a favor if I pull it together
Make it sooner than later, we won't be here forever
And I realize I waited to know
But please don't move on


Please..

I told her we would visit here one day.

Messages

Today I went through all my phone messages, and I somehow clicked on one of her previous voicemails. As soon as I heard her voice, my heart sunk and my face grew pale. I skipped a breath and was shocked. Her voice reminds me of home, of love, of happiness. This is not to say that I am not happy, but rather that with her, there is a different type of happiness. I want to go back to that time.

Recently...

I have tried hard to deal with the fact that for now she is gone. However, it is extremely hard. I miss her more than anything and it makes everything worst because I have no contact what so ever to her, none. I know if I text, she'll just ignore it. I wish and pray that one day she can call or text me. I always see the past memories in dreams or in my mind. I can't escape it. I think of her more than anything else. Will she ever talk to me again? I struggle with the question daily and remotely every second. I would do anything, anything to go back in time. I can't changed what happened and what has happened, I can only work hard to fix what I have broken.

Ashes: My Story...Her Song

Ashes - Mickey Factz

I didn't mean to be that type

Fall For Your Type - Drake

I still got it for you...

I had a dream last night...she told me I took too long to try to win her back. Should I keep waiting or is it time for me to just call her or text her. What would I say? Fearing everything won't just make this any easier. In my dream, she won't take me back because I took so long. Will she inevitably forget me, will I just become a past boyfriend. I want her in my life. I really want her back so badly. I miss her more than anything.

Never

Ever give up on the person you love. They will always be worth more than anything this world can provide. Love is gods gift to us, cherish it and never let it go.

I love you..

It's the 22nd, and I still got it for her..

September 16

I'm getting sadder and sadder each day. I miss her more and more. I really need to hear her voice again, it has been way too long. I wish she could feel me or hear me. I miss her.

Good Morning

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

Untitled

My heart breaks in the night
'Neath shadows of the street lights
Peering through our window sheers
Playing tricks with my eyes
Little fan circulates cool air
Cutting through summer's breath
The white noise camouflages my deep sigh
Of oxygen passing through my hollow chest cavity
Tears flooding my ears again as to 
Tunnel through the build up that has so caused 
These deaf ears to ignore the forewarnings
Of loving you too deeply...

Paris Morton Music - Drizzy

Wouldve came back for you ,
I just needed time, to do what I had to do
caught in the lie, I cant let it go whether thats right I will never know,
hoping you will forgive me, never meant wrong,
tried to be patient, waited too long,
but I wouldve came back, but i wouldve came back,
wouldve came back, wouldve came back.
Wouldve came...

White Lies - Mr Hudson

There Will Be Tears - Mr Hudson

Day By Day

I take everything day by day and just think of how this past year went. There are a lot of things I wish I could go back and change. I am now a man now, I cannot just change things or say sorry. What I do now affects my life and the people around me. It puts my life into perspective and lets me realize what are the things I value most in my life. I value my family/friends, God, and her. It is becoming almost impossible to just let go. I have a plan...It may or may not work, but I will do everything in my power to earn her back and prove that I am the Eli she always wanted and dreamed of. Every night before I go to sleep I say i love you like we did when we were on the phone. She was the most amazing and profound person I ever met. She made life that much better. All I can do now is just take it day by day.

Update

Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. 

-Proverbs 3.3

Her name will never leave my heart, she means more than anything in this world. The love I gave her was true and still is. I made a mistake and I cannot take it back. I can only become better but as the days go by I resent and hate myself even more. I miss her more than anything. I would do anything for her. I wish there was something I could do to just hear her say I love you once more. 

The Rhythm of the Rain

Rhythm of the Rain - Kno (of CunninLynguists)

I really miss her, I miss the kisses and her hand.

Drake's Tweet

Life's story is as quick as the wink of an eye...love's story is merely hello and goodbye...until we meet again...

Drake has been an extremely inspirational figure in my life. His music has really helped me. I still think and miss her so much. I know what I did was extremely wrong but I really have learned. I want to prove I've changed. I just want to dial those numbers. I love her so so so much. I hope we do meet again...

Maybe She'll Dream of Me

Maybe She'll Dream of Me